2 find U
by Lexi the Smut Bunny
Summary: Harry and Draco poor dudes


Disclaimer: None of this is mine- 'cept the plot (yay) -so I hope u lot like it. the song I have incorporated is by Jewel (she's absolutely amazing and I luv her music) and is called 2 Find U. it is not mine and I hope everyone finds that my using it is a compliment 'cos I don't make any money from using it or JKR's characters.  
  
"If I asked you a question  
Would you look me in the eyes?  
Has our love been built on lies?  
Well, why I'm asking,  
You see, the time is now  
To turn our backs forever  
Or work this through somehow"  
  
"Draco. Draco. Wake up!" Harry shook his lover again. "Mumlugni?" Draco mumbled incoherently. "Come on, you'll be late." Harry kissed him. "Leave me alone." "Oh, fine then." Harry huffed. He got off the bed and returned to the kitchen. Draco was always grumpy these days. For a while it had been perfect. They got together in their seventh year, a secret well kept-ideal-nobody even found for a couple of months- not even Hermione. But even when they did it didn't really matter. Even Draco's father was fine with it (telling them in confidence that he'd had similar escapades when he was at school by the name of Gary and Nick.) And they were happy. Or so it seemed. Now, after living together for close to a year Harry could hardly bear to be in the same room as Draco because the other boy was so cut off. He was sullen and unresponsive and didn't seem happy but Harry didn't know what to do about it. They hadn't made love for over two months and sometimes Draco didn't even sleep in their bed with Harry. But whenever Harry addressed the subject Draco would brush him off with "I don't feel like it." Or "it doesn't matter." It was so frustrating for Harry.  
  
"We've layered hurt on hurt I've seen pain cloud your eyes But we are bruised, not broken Like a phoenix love will rise."  
  
"Harry. We need to talk." Draco came into the kitchen. "Not now, you'll be late for work." Harry had been dreading this but forced cheerfulness into his voice. "Bugger work! Listen to me. You want me to talk? Fine, I'll talk! Sit down." "No! I'll. just tell me." Harry fought to say the words around the lump in his throat. "Fine. Have it your way." Draco shook his head. "Listen, Harry, I just don't think. I don't think this is working." "What?" Harry said even though he knew. "It's just. not working. I'm not happy." "Why not? Tell me. What is it?" Harry tried hard not to sound desperate. "I can't explain it. I haven't been happy in a long time. "You think I haven't noticed? You being sullen and never talking? What happened? You seemed so happy. but now. not for a year. it's me." Harry's voice died. "No. look I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you. I'm so sorry. It does affect you but I couldn't talk about it." "What? What are you talking about?" Harry felt confused. "Mother.died.she." he choked. "She.two months ago. I can't go on like this. I'm sorry, Harry, this isn't working.can't involve. I just can't be with you-" "Ssh. Draco you're not making sense." "I'm sorry." He whispered, tears streaming down his face. "I have to go." "No!" Harry shouted. Draco blinked. "I'm sor-" "No! stop saying that. Draco stop it!" "I can't.I have to go.Goodbye Harry." Draco rushed from the room appearing minutes later dressed. "You can't go." Harry cried. Draco didn't even look at him. "I have to. I'm so sorry. I truly am." And he was gone.  
  
"Hey, you Do not walk away Let's choose love, come on What do you say? Hey, you Know that I would spend My whole life all over again To find you."  
  
Harry couldn't move for a moment then he rushed into their bedroom and flung himself onto their bed. He could smell Draco and it made him cry even harder. "Draco! How could you do this? Why couldn't you just tell me? I could have helped." For hours Harry lay there crying until finally he realised.  
  
"Draco!" the blondes head snapped up. "Don't, Harry." He said in a lifeless voice. "Draco. you should have told me. Why? Why didn't you tell me? Do you think I wouldn't understand? Did you think I was the same person I was years ago/ that I wouldn't grow and help you through? That we couldn't help each other?" Harry knew he was babbling but he didn't care, he couldn't lose Draco. "Harry. Please leave me alone. I wasn't you. it was me-" "Oh, don't give me that. if you don't like me tell me just don't give me shit." "But it was. I couldn't . look. I didn't think I'd changed enough. I didn't think I could make you happy. I thought I would hurt you." "But don't you see? You've hurt me and you even more by withholding yourself. We could have been so much happier if you had just trusted me and yourself. let yourself go. you don't have to be on your guard all the time. Please Draco. don't do this." Harry pleaded.  
  
"Harry, now it's over. now I can stop hurting you. go on with your life you'll be much better off.' "No, no I won't. not without you. I need you, Dray. My life will be worthless without you. I don't care how corny or melodramatic you think that sounds but it's true." "Harry." "No. your arguments are useless. I know the truth." Harry bent and captured Draco's lips with his own. "Harry." He whispered content. "I'm sorry." "Of course. Now you can tell me everything."  
  
"Look in my eyes Kiss my mouth hard Let your conviction Reassure my heart Promise me now I'll promise you, too I love you.  
  
Thanx 4 reading my fic. 


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